It is known that musicians have their own language which can often be incomprehensible to an outsider. There are many phrases that are heard throughout rehearsal rooms everywhere like a constant echo. Here is a list of scenarios that may seem all too familiar among musicians!
1. It’s time for band practice to start and not everyone is present. Let’s just say punctuality is not your passion. Hold on, there’s someone’s knocking at the door…
– “Who’s it? asks the singer.
– “It’s the drummer,” says the bass player, “..the knocks are faster.”
2. After the drummer, arrives the guitarist, finally. This specimen is notoriously known for their distorted perception of time. It is, however, never their fault:
– “Sorry guys, the bus driver is trying to sabotage our career.”
3. As the bassist calmly takes out their bass from out of their case, they realize a string is broken:
– “No way!? I only just changed them three years ago!”
Obviously, in full belief that bass strings last an eternity, they won’t have any spares on them. No worries, 4 strings are way too many anyway. Let the band practice commence!
4. It’s better to be safe than sorry, and on that note, the singer immediately announces:
– “I have a cold and my voice sounds a bit hoarse.” This, in a way, sort of means that they’re not responsible for what is yet to come.
5. After a sound check with a random metal riff, the drummer speaks out:
– “the guitars are too quiet!” And within 5 minutes they soon regret opening their mouth. Never tell a guitarist that they’re too quiet or else they will soon prove you otherwise, and without mercy.
6. The singer chimes in and announces the long-awaited phrase, which everyone dreads:
– “I can’t hear myself.” The rest of the musicians, as diplomatic as ever, decide to lower their volume a notch. Which is not necessarily an easy task, in confined rehearsal rooms, and is a good opportunity to suggest investing in an InEar monitor system.
7. The jam session is well under way and different parts of the last piece are being discussed. As the drummer is about to give their opinion, the guitarist cuts them off:
– “Please be quiet when the musicians are talking!” Sarcasm, a fundamental component in musician jargon.
8. After the seemingly never ending guitar solo, the drummer, who on the verge of a nervous breakdown, retaliates:
– “It’s amazing what you can to do with a guitar that’s out of tune, you should become a musician! This means war…
9. The singer, who is still struggling with her cold and has no intention on not giving up says: – “Can we play in a different key?” Well of course we can, just for you. The piece is in open tuning, but no problem we’ll just change everything.
10. Finally, the bassist emerges from their slumber and asks:
– “What’s going on here? This is the kind of statement that usually pops up when the rehearsal was not structured or organized from the beginning, or possibly way too much beer and or other substances.